Britney Spears is My Starting Quarterback

by Jessica Brody, author of The Fidelity Files

If I said to you, “My team suffered a bitter defeat this week because of a surprise red-carpet 3-pointer by Victoria Beckham and an unfortunate 2 point deduction for Jessica Alba’s glaring lack of fashion sense,” would you have even the faintest clue what I’m talking about? If you do, then you have clearly already fallen victim to the latest celebrity-obsessed craze that has effectively stolen considerable chunks of my precious time over the past few months. However, if you have absolutely NO idea what I’m referring to and are seriously questioning my sanity at this point (and your own for even reading this posting), then let me introduce you to the most entertaining pop-culture time waster you’ll ever meet:

The US Weekly Fantasy League.

Yes, there are plenty of other names for it. Celebrity Fantasy League, Tabloid Fantasy League, etc, etc. but whatever you call it, the game is the same and the obsession levels are all sky high.
Basically it’s like Fantasy Football. But instead of picking football players to make up your fantasy team roster, you choose celebrities. Yes, like Brad Pitt and Suri Cruise and Jennifer Garner and if you are as genius as my friend Leslie last season, href="">Kate Winslet (just before she swept the Golden Globes and the Oscars). Then instead of getting scored on how your football players perform during their next game, you get scored on how and where your celebs appear in the tabloid magazines.

The league that I currently run uses only US Weekly Magazine (although there are others that also use People, In Touch and some celebrity blogs). So if one of your team members (aka Britney Spears or Heidi Montag) appears in the Red Carpet section of the magazine she gets three points! Or one point for every “Hot Pic,” 2 points for every “Stars They’re Just Like Us” pic, or negative 2 points for appearing in the Fashion Police section (boo!). OR…if one of your celebs does something stupid enough (or from a publicist point-of-view: “brilliant” enough) to land themselves on the cover of the magazine, cha-ching! Major jackpot of 7 points! The US Weekly Fantasy League Pot of Gold!

My league is about to kick off its second season, and I’m ashamed to admit, it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time. All of my best girlfriends and I battling it out for those coveted points, trying to stay ahead of the curve by adding and dropping the right celebs at the right time, all fighting to take home that grand prize…the US Weekly Fantasy League Champion. Yes, go ahead, laugh now. Make fun. I would if I were you. But then come back and talk to me once you’re regularly using sentences like, “I can’t believe Jessica’s weight gain got front page over J-Lo’s marital problems…again!”

So if you’re a fan of US Weekly, pop culture or just general procrastination, I highly recommend finding a league of your own (wait, wasn’t that a movie?) There are also a few websites running free leagues that you can join, like,, and others. But beware, this game can get highly addictive. And it’s important to know when it’s time to stop and when to ask for help. So how do you know when you’ve officially become an US Weekly Fantasy League addict: Well, it’s probably around the time you start rejoicing in celebrity divorces and extramarital affairs because you’re certain it’ll nab you next week’s cover.

Anyone else out there an addict? Please comment so I don't feel so bad about myself.


  1. Who cares what other people think if you're having fun? That's my mantra, and I'm sticking to it.

  2. Oh wow, that's hilarious!! I love it!

    Although I probably won't be starting a league, what you do sounds fun and that's a very good thing indeed. *smile*

    Happiness is GOOD! So giggle and snort with your girlfriends and if anyone questions you, just tell them that laughter and happiness has been shown to lower blood pressure and boost the immune system. Then stick out your tongue and rate their outfit. *heh-heh*


  3. Welcome to the Divas Jessica! Hilarious! Okay - although I'm not part of a fantasy league I probably do this unofficially with my sisters and girlfriends.

  4. Thanks Joanna! And thanks for sprucing up my post with pictures! It really needed that. :)

  5. Hi Jessica

    Belated welcome to the Divas and lol, great first post!

    I'm not addicted to celebrity tracking in the likes of the league, but I was recently addicted to games on facebook. Yikes, I said it! Yup, they do suck up all your time, energy, and sanity. But, I'm in rehab now and manage to check my facebook only twice a day!

    But, like Julia said, as long as you're having fun, go for it! Not enough happiness in this world, innit?




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