Confessions of a Femme Fatale

by Kayla Perrin

I admit it. I'm a femme fatale. If you see me coming, hold on to your man a little tighter. Or better yet, hurry inside your house and lock your door. Because I will try to seduce your man. And I will leave you to pick up the pieces of your broken relationship.

Okay, taking tongue out of cheek. If you haven't figured it out, I am totally NOT being serious. I am not a man-stealing femme fatale. But here's the thing--some people see me that way. And I totally don't understand why.

Perhaps it's because I walk around my neighborhood dressed in tight, barely there outfits like Megan Fox. Or maybe it's because I have a sexy, intense gaze that makes men swoon--kind of like Angelina Jolie's. And we all know that she stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston.

All right, kidding again. But I can't help it. Because after some recent comments and reaction from certain women--and one that might even impact my career--I am totally confused.

Some women see me as a man-stealing hussy.

Perhaps it's because people have affairs at the drop of a hat in our society. Dating sites are filled with married people looking for something on the side, not to mention that one "dating" site dedicated to helping married people cheat. No, I won't mention the name because I don't support it in the least.

Or perhaps it's because I'm the single woman next door.

The single romance writer next door.

You know us romance writers. We write porn, right? Therefore we're always horny, oversexed, and on the lookout for suitable "research" opportunities--whether or not they're wearing a wedding band.

Right . . .

Now, if you know me, you know that I'm not the type to chase married men. Heck, I'm a single mother who has been single for years. The only romance I get these days is in the pages of the books I write and read.

So imagine my shock when the wife of someone I know in a business capacity contacted me to "apologize." I was confused as to why she felt the need to apologize to me. These were her words: "I knew my husband was having an affair. And I thought it was with you." She went on to explain that she was cold toward me because of her suspicion. At the time, she'd suffered a loss in her family and I attributed her behavior to that loss. Apparently, I was wrong!

As my father aptly said when I told him about the now ex-wife's comment: "Boy, someone could shoot you and you wouldn't even know why."

There was NO way I was attracted to her husband, hadn't behaved inappropriately with him at all. Trust me, the comment floored me. But she's not the only one to see me in this way. I've encountered the suspicious wife in other circumstances. For example, someone else I've known for years--and I won't say in which capacity in case he or his family reads this blog, except to say that if anything, I saw him in a father-figure role. I used to get the seriously cold shoulder from his wife whenever I popped by to visit. To her credit, maybe she saw something in the way her husband looked at me, because one day HE shocked me by propositioning me. I shut him down. I'd never been attracted to him in that way. Like I said, 'father-figure.' Then there's the neighbor who had to call her husband on his cell when he was outside talking to me about the fence that was going up, and the general cold shoulder I get from her--and a couple of the other wives in my neighborhood. All of the husbands are nice to me--never inappropriate--so, go figure.

Another comment that shocked me--an author acquaintance told a writing biz friend of mine to "keep her boyfriend away from me." The fear, I guess, was that I would tempt him away.

I was not only shocked by that comment, but a little hurt. I was very happy when this friend introduced her new man to me--she had been looking for her Mr. Right for a long time and had finally found him. This person had been a friend for ten years. There is no way I would ever jeopardize my friendship with her by even batting an eyelash in her boyfriend's direction!

I keep such a low profile that the notion I'd be out there wanting to steal other women's men is simply laughable. My writing schedule means I'm not outside hanging in the neighborhood with everyone on weekends and in the evenings. I don't usually get out of my pajamas unless I'm leaving the house, and ask my mother--she's always telling me I should "dress like an author." In other words, I don't pay all that much attention to what I put on. But trust me, it's more than what Megan Fox is wearing in the picture I posted.

I will admit to lusting after a particular hot man every time I see him at the Romantic Times convention, but everyone knows that as much as I lust after him, I would never cross the line with him because he's MARRIED. And trust me, he's HOT. I've never so much as hinted that I'd be available, because if he were the type to want to get a little something on the side with me because his wife wasn't around, then I would cease to find him attractive. He's attractive because he's gorgeous--AND he's loyal to his wife.

With shows like Desperate Housewives and movies like Obsessed, I know that television and films are full of infidelity. It makes for good fiction. Even I've written about infidelity in my novel OBSESSION. But while it's compelling in fiction for obvious reasons, it's not--at least to me--compelling in real life.

I will admit to my one killer asset--my smile. I smile at men when I'm chatting with them, but I smile the same way at women when I'm chatting with them. I can be flirtatious if the mood strikes, but can't we all?

So please--there is no need to clutch your men more tightly when you see me coming. Even if I do write some seriously hot sex scenes.

What about you? Do you find that people are so distrustful these days that they're suspicious of your motives and completely off the mark?


  1. Hey Kayla - some women feel threatened by your confidence - and confidence is sexy. you're beautiful, with a great smile and you enjoy engaging with people - and you're a successful writer - so all of that combined can make some people nervous. But you're true to yourself - and who you are - you know that you're a good person and a loyal friend and an honourable woman - you can't help the insecurity of others.

  2. How disappointing these supposed friends have turned out to be. I hope you smile even more brightly at your true friends who know you and would never suspect such a thing from you.

    Monty Python fish-slapping dance for the rest.

  3. Thanks, Jo! I guess you're right about the confidence thing. It is intimidating. I know some people who flaunt their success, but I'm just not that kind of person! And no, you can't help the insecurity of others!

    Julia, amen to that. They are all disappointments! I take comfort in knowing that my true friends would never suspect that sort of duplicity from me.

  4. I've had similar experiences always being the 'single woman' in the neighborhood of young families. The women in my neighborhood have always given me a wide berth. In fact, none of them gave me the time of day until, oddly enough, John and I moved in together. Apparently after I was considered 'off the market' I was allowed to be their friend. Which is ridiculous because (1) I didn't want their husbands and (2) I couldn't flirt my way out of paper bag even if I could. I think if women are that worried about losing their man to another woman it says more about the state of their relationship than the 'other woman' their creating in their minds.

  5. Great post, Kayla (though inside I'm cringing in sympathy). My widowed mom certainly went through this. As a result, she had no married female friends. Argh!

    I've had a suspicious eye cast my way as well, NOT because I'm single but because I'm not a mom!! Believe it or not, many a mom in town feels women who aren't part of the 'birth cartel' are slightly suspect.

    And I hear you about how the quality that makes certain married men so attractive is their loyalty and fidelity. However, I do know there are unscrupulous women out there (though how friends could tag you as such is a mystery).

    My last boyfriend ended up having an affair with one of our friends (former friend in my case) and I wasn't at all suspicious, just shocked as hell that it could happen to me.

    Insecurity and jealousy is a horrid thing though. *sigh* If we ever meet, I promise not to be suspicious because frankly, it's a poor quality of woman who 'steals' away a man. And you, my dear, strike me as very high quality indeed!

    Again, great post!

    --Chiron O'Keefe

    PS... Some trivia, I was taken aback to realize that Angelina first seduced Billy Bob Thornton from Laura Dern (again during a movie shoot) before wooing the married Brad Pitt. Rumors are that Johnny Depp's longtime love isn't happy about Angelina and Johnny's upcoming love scene!


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