Soul Mates vs. Marriage Mates

Guest Blogger: Catherine Anne Collins
When I found out the focus of this blog and that I only had 1 day to write it, I panicked. Marriage! What a huge subject to talk about in a short blog post. I thought of every angle I could possibly approach from and how to relate it back to my books. No problem. Right? Wrong! J But, I’m always up for a challenge, so here goes.
First, let’s have a look at the definition of marriage:
a.     the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
b.     the state, condition, or relationship of being married
c.     the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple

Hmmm, sounds somewhat cold and impersonal to me, but I’m not highly religious, or much of a believer in certain legalities and social parameters laid out by politicians. To me, a piece of paper telling me I’m committed to another person, or being married in front of a priest, minister, guru, rabbi etc., doesn’t mean much. Don’t get me wrong, I am married and am fortunate enough to have found my soul mate. But I’m committed to him in my heart and a piece of paper doesn’t do a thing to make that commitment any stronger. Having a priest give his blessing doesn’t change what I already feel in my heart. As far as I’m concerned, an unbreakable moral bond ties us and what I feel in my heart blesses our relationship. God, or whatever ultimate Being who oversees our universe, knows what’s in my heart. The marriage certificate and minister only make it official in the eyes of society and man. That’s my short and succinct view on marriage…I’d love to hear yours. J

Second thing I’d like to talk about is wedding ceremonies. My husband and I planned a unique wedding. It took place in our dojo (martial arts building) which happens to be a converted church and a place blessed with positive energy and love. We wrote our own vows, presented gifts to each other, and had a Japanese tea ceremony. It was an unusual blend of western and eastern philosophies, but suited us fine. I think the minister we hired might have wondered what he’d gotten himself into, but he was flexible and easy-going.

Now, for the book tie-in. I don’t have a wedding ceremony in any of my books, but for A Witch’s Lament, I did research Wiccan ceremonies. If I’d written Skye and Jerome’s wedding it would have been amazing. As Wicca is an earth-based religion, the ceremony would have taken place outside among the singing birds, whispering wind and lush scents of flowers in full bloom. Skye would have been barefoot, her medieval gown flowing with each movement while Jerome would have worn something sexy and masculine. Of course, he looks great in anything.

As hand-fasting is an ancient and once highly accepted ritual, it would have been the approach taken by my main characters, with their best-friend, Samson tying the ribbon around their wrists to make the physical connection. Speaking of Samson (another gorgeous hunk) he finds true love in the sequel, A Witch’s Legacy, but Cassandra would have insisted on an elaborate wedding with all the New York fixings and pomp. Her dress—designer, of course. Pearls, lace, trailing train, veil..the whole thing.

So, tell me about your wedding. I’d love to hear.

Afterwards, please stop by and check out my books at

Thanks so much to the Pop Culture Divas for having me here today. It’s been great.


  1. Welcome Catherine Anne! :D I love your idea of marriage and weddings - and your own wedding with your husband must have been lovely! It's wonderful when couples buck tradition and instead go for something that speaks more about who they are than what their families might want.

    Thank you so much for joining us today.


  2. Catherine I couldn't see you and your husband getting married any other way. Great blog!

  3. Joanna, thanks for having me, I always love meeting new people and having a chance to talk about my books.

    LeeAnn, you know me too well. :-)

  4. Catherine,

    Even though we look at the ceremonious part of marriage differently, your post was lovely. Each couple travels their own path to love and commitment. The important part is honoring that commitment to each other. You and your husband found a way that suited your energy and beliefs.

    My husband and I had a traditional wedding. It wasn't large, maybe 100people (75% were family!) and lasted about 15 minutes. I wore my grandmother's wedding dress (hopefully one of my four daughters will wear it when they marry!). My sisters were my maid of honor and flower girl. My husband's best friend was the best man. We stood before God and the most important people in our lives and vowed to always love and honor each other.

    You're right, the piece of paper didn't change how we felt, but it traditionally and ritualistically solidified our union. We've never regretted our choice of a traditional ceremony. In fact, next year is our 25th wedding anniversary and we're planning to renew our vows.

    This ceremony will be as relaxed and laid back as the first...except this time around I'll be barefoot, our daughters will stand beside us, and my grandson will toss some flower petals. We'll be celebrating the life we've built together!

  5. Into the spring, flowers bloom, you can choose Quinceanera Gowns of the wedding a lot, the green is the most commonly used, choose Bridesmaid Dress as the background jumping, and then decorated with flowers as the main theme of theEvening Dresses while the bride’s makeup also feminine-based in the choice of cheap wedding dresses can also be tender and beautiful colors and lively attention.

  6. Hi Catherine. Great post. I hadn't realized how much I love a wedding until I began writing romance. I agree with you that it's not the paper or having the minister officiating that brings meaning. However, the ceremony is a demonstration of what the bride and groom feel. It's that love that transcends every aspect of their lives (or I believe it does and thus the tears!).

    I had a traditional wedding in an Episcopal church with our families and friends witnessing. Then we renewed our vows 10 years later in order to make the sacrament in the Catholic church. Our second ceremony took all of 8 minutes and was witnessed by 4 people who mean the world to us. And I have to say that both ceremonies made my heart race and gave me the exact same thrill.

    I loved him when I married him the first time and even more the second. :) Jordan

  7. Such beautiful stories of weddings, thanks for sharing, Renee and Jordan.

    Have a great day,


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